Fic inspired by Padalecki anagrams

[loony_moony]

So lazy_daze asked for hooker!Jared fics, and I sort of came up with an outline on the spot. Serves me right for sucking so hard and failing to start my Big Bang that I stayed so late to finish this. :)

"Comes To Us All"

(Jared knows what he wants, except when he doesn't.)

(Unbeta'ed. I'll give a damn tomorrow about grammatical errors)

(I don't own them, but I still think they're doing this better than me)


Comes To Us All


On Sunday morning, Jared wakes up in a bed that's not his own. Not that it's a novelty; Jared often wakes up in strange beds on weekends. And weekdays. Really, any day is possible. Jared likes his casual sex, and he's not in a hurry to find anything deeper than that.

He moves his hand around the bed and finds it empty. A quick look around the bedroom verifies two things: One, that whoever owns this place is a guy. Two, that he's not exactly short on money. Jared's clothes lay folded on a chair that looks insidiously expensive and probably seats like a bed of nails. He's just about done pulling his shirt over his head when the door opens, and the hot guy who apparently owns the apartment (and Jared fucked) comes in.

"Hey, I've got some coffee and a bite, if you feel like," he says with an easy smile.

Jared shrugs and smiles back. "Sure."

--

The guy's name is Misha. He's good about sharing the sports section, and he has the kind of lips that make Jared's brain go from zero to blowjob in under two seconds. From the glances they share over the island in his roomy kitchen, Misha doesn't seem particularly averse to round two. Or three. Four?

Jared finishes the last dregs of his coffee, puts the paper on the counter and walks around the island on the way back to the bedroom. He knows Misha is following.

--

They're lying in bed, late afternoon sun painting stripes on the sheets. Jared idly thinks about getting up in about five minutes and get going, when Misha touches his arm lightly.

"Hey, I'm wondering something."

"Yeah?"

Misha turns to look at him. "You're a student, right?"

Jared laughs. "Is this a way to find out whether I'm legal or something?"

Misha snorts. "Like I wouldn't be able to tell if you were under eighteen. No. I'm actually wondering if you're a student."

Jared shrugs. "Recently graduated with a BA."

"And?"

"And what?"

Misha gives him a look that's way too sharp for someone who just came his brains out. "Why do I feel that's not the end of the story?"

Jared sighs. "I wanna go to grad school. Actually got accepted to Yale Law, which is awesome."

"But?"

"No money."

Misha nods. "Parents?"

Jared shrugs again. "They could barely help me with my Bachelor's. No way they can afford Ivy League tuition."

"Sucks, man."

"Yeah, I know."

Misha looks thoughtful, and Jared decides this is his cue to start dressing up. He locates his briefs and puts them on. Misha looks at him, assessing.

"What if I can help?"

Jared frowns immediately. "What do you mean, like a loan or something?"

Misha laughs. "No, not exactly." He sits up, puts his hands on his knees. "Ever wonder how I got this place?"

Not really, but obviously that's not the answer he's expecting from Jared. "I guess."

"I've got a very good job. It's a cozy, kind of easy job of giving people what they want, and getting paid a helluva lot for it."

Jared squints at him, head whirring from one bad option to another. He starts locating his trousers too. "What do you give them?"

Misha smiles as if he knows what Jared's thinking. "Not designer drugs, if that's what you're thinking. Not selling them children either. I just get them exclusive, discreet opportunities to have fun."

No. That can't mean what Jared thinks it does. But. "Misha, are you a pimp?"

Misha bursts out laughing, and it's so surprisingly genuine, Jared can't help but laugh too. It takes Misha a couple of minutes to calm down, but when he does, he's still smiling that real, honest smile of his. "Yeah, I kinda am."

Jared stills immediately, realizes what Misha meant before. "So wait, are you saying I should be a hooker or something?"

Misha's smile widens, appreciative. "Obviously you have no problem hooking up with strangers. You're the most fun I've had in bed in a while. And I get around, man. Just think about it." He gets up, walks across the room, naked, and grabs a card from the top of the dresser by the door. He saunters back to Jared, puts the card in his right front pocket. "Give me a call, we'll set up a meeting and talk real business."

Jared grimaces a little and pulls his shirt back on. "We'll see."

--

He thinks about it for quite a while. It's all he can think of for the rest of the day at the very least. He debates whether to call Chad and ask for his opinion, but he already knows what Chad'll say. Of course you should do it, moron. And then he'll make bad hooker jokes for the rest of the evening, till Jared gets sick of him and kicks him out of his apartment.

It's not like Jared's particularly against the possibility. He's not excited about the prospect of sleeping for money, but fact of the matter is that he looks good, he likes sex and if Misha's percentage is not, like, 70% of what his prostitutes earn, Jared's gonna make a nice wad of cash. Enough to send him to law school and then some.

So he calls Misha and sets up that meeting.

--

Misha turns out to be very serious about the job.

"I'm not selling my workers' asses on the street, Jared. The people who buy services through me are very, very rich and busy. They cannot afford to make any mistakes, and if they do, normally the person on the other side gets flattened like a fucking mosquito on a windshield."

"But this is still illegal. How did you make it till now?"

Misha smiles, and it's still genuine, but not intimate in the slightest this time. "You forget that they need my help. They want those services, and as long as I do my part, they do theirs, and everything might as well be legal."

"What does this mean, then?"

Misha leans forward on his desk. "It means that for starters, you get a full physical. You get tested for every STD under the sun, and you do it where I send you. Every person who works under my contracting gets tested once a week, and more inbetween if I decide it's needed. I do not leave anything to chance. Same thing goes for the clients, by the way. They know I'm the best, and I don't play around with them either."

Jared sort of stares at him. "You had sex with me last week, and you didn't give a damn if I had Herpes, for instance."

Misha smirks. "You think I wouldn't recognize someone with an outbreak? If you had sores in your groin I would've kicked you out two minutes in. And I took Valtrex before I even went out that night, just to be sure. Also, before you woke up."

Geez. Jared had sex with a health freak. Who now wants to employ him as a hooker. His life is weird.

Misha continues as if Jared asked him to, and not just stared at him dumbly. "Also, in case you're wondering, I have a full profile on each client, both background and sexual preferences. As I said, I don't leave anything to chance. With the sums of money in question and exclusivity of clients, there's no space for mistakes"

Jared starts to think this might actually be insane enough to work.

--

He starts taking jobs from Misha. He doesn't get a lot in the beginning, just one or two a week, testing the waters. Jared sleeps with an affluent socialite, then with closeted Congressman. They both ask for him again. The amount of money transferred to his account from the investment firm he allegedly works for is startlingly large.

"Just a small 'congrads' bonus for jobs well done," Misha says when he asks him about it a day later. He gets more work afterwards.

--

He's been taking jobs for several months, has a steady clientele, when Misha calls him with an offer for a new guy.

"Got refered to me by a good friend. Thought I'd give it to you just for the hell of it."

Jared's intrigued. Last time Misha said something like that, he ended up having a fantastic bondage session with Hugh Jackman. "Go on."

"Easy job. Seriously easy. He only wants basic, tendency to bottom."

"Happy to hear. Why the special interest, then?"

He can hear Misha smirking through the phone. "Emailing you a recent picture."

Jared fires up his laptop, gets into his email account. Oh holy crap. He breathes into the phone. "I love you so much right now, Misha."

Misha laughs. "You can prove it to me with some quality alcohol, then. Okay. Tuesday night, nine PM at the W Hotel in midtown. Name's Ackles."

"Thanks, man."

"Have fun."

--

Ackles turns out to be even better-looking in person. He has freckles all over, a perky ass and that photo really wasn't doing justice to his lips. Jared has what he thinks could easily be the best sex he's ever had, paid or not. They lie in a haze inbetween rounds, eating room service, smoking a joint, watching some sports on the flat screen. Ackles asks him to call him Jensen with a small smile at the end. A day later, Jared gets an email saying he requested another session that weekend.

Jared sends Misha a bottle of Blue Label as soon as he gets ahold of one.

--

"So how long have you been doing this?"

Jared's watching Jensen taking a sip from his beer bottle. "Doing what?"

Jensen smirks a little. "Tapping fine young asses such as mine for a job."

"Since Tuesday night?"

Jensen throws a pillow at him. "Asshole." He smiles all the same, takes another sip.

Oh, fuck. Jared actually likes this guy. "Not too long. Not really what I was planning to do with my life, you know?"

"What, you mean you weren't actually picked up by a bunch of guys from a dumpster for a coke and was raised in a brothel to dance with bells around your ankles?"

Jared points at him with his own beer. "But you know, I was still a virgin, waiting for my one true love to save me, only to get fucked by his brother when it happened."

"Your life is so hard."

"Those saris are hard to put on, you know?"

Jensen laughs, toasts him with the bottle. "So that's why you walk around naked, huh."

"Nah. Just swam in a sea of excrement."

--

Jared doesn't have any problems with his other clients. They're all nice enough. They like him. The sex is fine, and the money more than makes up for when it's not.

But Jensen. Jensen's screwing him all over, and not only literally. He's screwing with his head, making him wait for his appointments with him impatiently. Making him want to stretch the time he gets with him. Making him wish that maybe they could have the 'meeting for sex' excuse at his place, or Jensen's, and maybe the sex would come after a video game marathon or just dinner.

Jensen's screwing up with what Jared wants, because Jared wants him.

--

One month of increasingly frequent sessions with Jensen later, Jared asks: "Are you ever gonna tell me what your job is?"

"Are you ever gonna tell me why you're working this one?"

"I asked you first."

"I could give a fuck, but I don't."

"You're kind of a dick."

"Jared, I'm paying you for sex. On what universe would that not make me a dick?"

Jared hesitates. "You don't have to, you know."

Jensen's mouth drops open and he's staring at him. "And you're telling me this now?"

"Um, yes?"

Jensen huffs. "Alright. But when we date? You're paying."

Jared smiles, doesn't think he can stop smiling. "I think I can live with that."

"Sure you can. I blew a fuckload on your bank account."

"Technically on Misha's too."

"I don't wanna date Misha, Jared."

"Why not? He's good in bed, that I can tell you."

"Fucking your pimp? You're just a walking cliché, man."

Jared smiles. "I'm an even bigger walking cliché for falling for my client, don't you think?"

Jensen blushes.

--

They start dating, and of course Jared's income takes a hit. Misha bitches at him a little. Jared sends him a case of Dom Perignon and tells him to calm the fuck down.

It's not only the lack of money coming from Jensen that affects Jared's income though. Jared's less available these days for appointments, has less free nights for anyone who is not his maybe-boyfriend. On the nights he does take appointments, he can't quite forget the fact there's a big, comfy bed in a pad downtown where his drop-dead-gorgeous maybe-boyfriend is waiting for him to come home, while he's fucking some nameless rich someone he doesn't even care about beyond the orgasm and the bank balance. When Jared comes back to his place, he feels lonely. If he comes to Jensen's place, Jensen wakes up, strips Jared from his clothes and continues to trace his body with fingertips and tongue, searching for marks. Marking Jared over them, sucking his cock and rimming him till he comes, shaking and moaning loudly. Jared prefers coming back to Jensen's place.

Except that he finds it harder and harder to look him in the eyes in the morning.

--

Jared calls Misha and tells him to set aside a time for him in the office.

They sit down, looking at each other.

"So, you're quitting," says Misha.

Jared's not that surprised he figured it out, but it's still startling to hear.

"Yeah."

"Damn. Should've never hooked you with Ackles."

Jared smiles. "No, you shouldn't have. I would've stayed an unhappy male hooker."

"Damn right, you would," but Misha is smiling back. That genuine, warm smile Jared remembers from his sun-striped bed.

"When I started working for you, I didn't even want a boyfriend."

"But you got one." Misha's smile impossibly widens. "So what now, true love? Grad school? Gonna be a lawyer and make prostitution legal?"

Jared laughs. "Like you need the law when you have your clients."

"True. And they're gonna be sorry to see you go."

"I'm sure you'll find someone just as good to replace me. Taylor Kitsch? Chris Evans?"

"Try more like Joe Jonas, loser."

"I thought Joe Jonas was a client."

"Was. Now I have Efron."

"I don't envy the guy who got him."

"You should. Efron pays in Prada."

"I don't have sex for anything less than YSL, bitch," Jared says as he comes up from his chair.

"Damn, you're a pushy one. Good thing Jensen's so loaded."

Jared claps his shoulder and winks. "In more ways than one."

--

In the fall, Jared starts grad school, and does so well, he actually gets a full scholarship on his second year. Jensen laughs at the irony of it and takes Jared to Grey's Papaya to celebrate.

"So classy. You're such a classy boyfriend."

"Since you're obviously going to suck at your job and be penniless, I thought I'd introduce you to the best dogmeat in the city."

"So supportive, too. I'm just blessed all around."

"I know you are, because I found us a place not far from New Haven to live."

Jared chokes on his second hotdog. "You what?"

Jensen smiles at him beatifically. "Figured you couldn't do without my superb morning blowjobs even when the library owns you, so next year you get free school, free apartment and a free boyfriend with free blowjobs."

"What about free fucks?"

Jensen kisses him on the cheek. "Those you have to work for, boy."



The End


<3!