TRUE BLOOD WOOT WOOT

[loony_moony]

SO THAT WAS A DOOZY.

By which I mean that was SO ENTIRELY NOT LIKE THE BOOK, it's like the AU of it. You know, the AU in which Faerie is a hoax, Lafayette joins Marnie the witch's coven unwittingly, Bill becomes the king of Louisiana and Eric acts like Bill. BUT IN A DISTURBINGLY HOT WAY.

Everyone probably knows this by now, but Book 4 (in correlation to True Blood's seasons) is ALLLL about Eric. And Sookie. And Eric/Sookie. And shower sex. Eric is cursed with amnesia by the witch coven for refusing to submit to them and let them drain him, so he hides at Sookie's little hidey-hole (in more ways than one) for a good couple of months. This starts a loooong Sookie/Eric arc in the books that pretty much eliminates Sookie/Bill TO EVERYONE'S RELIEF.

But not on the show. Because on the show, it's pretty fucking obvious that NOTHING will stop Alan Ball from shipping Suckeh/Beel, and so all the awesomeness Eric gains in book 4 is not only pretty much nonexistent on the show, but he has now taken the turn towards creepshire. Oh yes. Because obviously, if Eric owns the Stackhouse home, he owns Sookie. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW 21ST CENTURY AMERICA ROLLS. I mean, why don't you just grab her to fucking Valhalla on the way. This is so ridiculously OOC for Eric. Either version of him. YOU'RE SO FUCKING LUCKY YOU GOT ASKARS, ALAN BALL. Because anyone LESS hot than ASkars would not have blinded me with his hotness to the MAJOR, MAJOR CREEP ATTACK.

Anyhoo. HEY, KING BEEEEEEL. So he killed Sohpie-Anne in that Matrix fight they started in last season's finale, huh? Too bad. Now he'll be even MORE obnoxious. Also in the realm of WTF, Tara-sorry-TONI's turn into bisexualdom and conning trusting ladies who know Tae Kwon Do into her bed. YEAH, THAT'S GONNA END SO WELL. And Jason Stackhouse in charge of both Andy Bellefleur's vee addiction AND a whole herde of were-panthers is not gonna blow up in everyone's faces. You know, because Jason is such a responsible adult.

I don't know what's up with Jesus and Lafayette OR Jessica and Hoyt for the matter, but I'm predicting Very Bad Things are afoot for them, and they will probably cost them those relationships. GAH, WHYYYY. And we're not even going to have the comfort of Sookie and Eric playing happy household-hot shower sex. WHY IS THIS SEASON ALREADY LOOKING LIKE A CLUSTERFUCK.

That said, I kinda enjoyed this episode.

In conclusion, LULZ HORSES.