And then I faceplanted AGAIN
Mar. 6th, 2010 11:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
loony_moonySo last night I went to see "Alice in Wonderland" with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
memphis86 (who wore the hat!), regala_electra (who adopted my sister), ignited (who wore the most delightful t-shirt) and cathybites (who was bubbly as always) and my sister. Seeing as I drank a big big bottle of cider not half an hour before that, my view was a bit...skewed. Then waffle fries happened.
It shall happen in numbers, because I can't be bothered to structure an essay. I'm lazy, if you haven't noticed. It should also be marked that I've seen this movie in 2D. :D
1. Right off, I was thrown off the story COMPLETELY when I saw Celeborn as Alice's daddy. CELEBORN HAS A BRITISH ACCENT, PEOPLE. Omg he is so cute. Tell him, where's the rabbit, for he'd much desire to speak with him. :D Second unexpected cameo was Lindsay Duncan (Servilia of the Junii, you guys, AWESOME) as Alice's, I want to say stepmother? She wasn't an evil stepmother, but I didn't get the mommy vibes from her, so yeah. She was so very lovable. The whole first 10 minutes have an acutely WHITE look to them, probably to distinguish from the murky color palette of "Underland".
2. Girl Power Watch: Oh yes, this movie is FILLED with girl power. Seeing as it was written by Linda Woolverton of "Mulan" and "Beauty and the Beast" fame, it shouldn't be surprising. It IS, however, surprising when the book you're dealing with has a plot that's mainly made of "omg I'm just a tiny girl and everyone's so MEAN to me!" In any case, Girl Power Watch here recognizes Alice' disdain for a) corsets, and b) stockings. To the observing eye, this means she is absolutely BONKERS in that era. To the unobserving eye (courtsey of yours truly), this means "holy crap, no corset? lucky bitch".
3. OH, THE FORESHADOWING. Yes yes we get it, Tim Burton. Everyone is so STRANGE and ALIEN in those white mansions. Lady Ascot wouldn't hear of painting white roses and her daughters are a strange couple that completes each other's sentences, and everyone expects Alice to adhere to social customs by agrees to marry a man with NO JAWLINE who has digestive problems, simply because he's rich like woah, and Alice can't commit to it. GEE, I WONDER WHEN THAT'S GOING TO RETURN.
4. Surprisingly, the whole rabbit hole sequence is very much like the Disney version. In fact, most of the first 10 minutes of the "Underland" (which btw, Tim Burton, makes me think of 'Tithe' more than anything else) are very much the Disney version of "Alice" as viewed through Burton's glasses and insomnia. WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S THE WRONG ALICE? Everyone gasps. No, she's HARDLY the real Alice, corrects Alan "WHOOOOOO are YOUUUUUU" Rickman. Really, this is enough, Tim Burton. I shouldn't be having the hot flashes for a damn snail.
5. Strangely enough (or maybe not so strangely, as Alice in here is 19), the movie is filled with bizarre little pairings; The Red Queen and Stayne, Alice and Stayne ("I like LARGENESS" lol), Alice and the Mad Hatter (I blame Johnny Depp playing him as a romantic lead for no discernible reason), Alice and the White Queen (which was intended, I think). I mean, REALLY. SO MANY HORMONES WTF.
6. So let's talk about how much I love Helena Bonham-Carter. I mean, REALLY. She's playing some of the most iconic villainesses on cinema lately, and she adds such a flair to them! I love her Bellatrix and I love her Red Queen, which seems more than everything like a parody on Elizabeth I (complete with a skewed portrait of Henry VIII in the Red Palace). She plays her with a lot of camp, especially her astonished "he tried to kill me? he tried to kill? me?" which won me over. I also think her whole look is astonishingly creative.
7. And now we get to the Mad Johnny. Sorry, I mean Elijah Hatter. ACK. Okay, so what's with the weird Scottish accent? Why the Scottish Jabberwocky poem recited as a war poem? Why Scottish AT ALL? I mean. WELL. It's utterly needless, but whatever. I got the feeling throughout the movie that only Johnny Depp could've been comfortable in that get up, really. Any other actor would've been weirded out by the whole thing. However, Depp's Hatter is a bit of a bizarre clash between the Disney Mad Hatter, and I dunno, Aragorn. A wounded, scarred warrior trapped in a clown's closet, and this is not Shakespeare. What gives.
8. To which point, I must mention Anne Hathaway, who completely misses the mark this time, sadly. It comes down to even her lipstick, which is a shade too wrong, really. If you're going for the whole whitewhiteWHITE look with a likable flair, don't do eggplant shade, ktx. I also got the feeling that her entire performance was totally directed by Burton, who isn't normally that kind of a director (which is why normally inexperienced or even relatively-inexperienced actors get completely swallowed by his movies). "Be more pretty pretty princess! More courtesies! More fake-but-real adorablness!" Hathaway takes his direction and completely overdoes it, in a bad way. She seemed mostly overwrought and borderline annoying, rather than campy-hilarious and a spunky parody on the beginning of the movie's gentry.
9. As for Stayne, I was sure for a couple of minutes there that it was Depp again. The lack of eyebrows, paleness and dark eyes and hair all seemed quite Depp-ish to me, circa "Edward Scissorhands". He seems in the beginning as the Aragorn of this movie, and then unfolds into something that seems like the stilts walker version of Wormtail (who funnily enough is ALSO in this movie). There is something dashing about him, but he's mostly sort of obscure and power-hungry and I'm sort of not getting him, I guess.
10. The Cheshire Cat! Or as said by half the characters in this movie "Chesh" (and gave me really annoying deja-Supernaturals with Castiel-Cas). OKAY, NO. THAT CREATURE HAS A FULL NAME, A RICH HISTORY AND STEPHEN FRY'S VOICE. YOU WILL TREAT HIM WITH RESPECT, BURTON. Disregarding that, he was completely delightful, and I loved him.
11. Okay. That dancing bit in the end? I HATED. I mean, the idea was fabulous, but if your Mad Hatter is a deranged Scottish Aragorn, why is he turning his own limbs around to weird gothic disco? Go full Brigadoon, man! Goddamn, was that disappointing and awkward.
12. So okay, the more I think about this movie, the more it reeks to me of "Lord of the Rings" gone Burton. It's particularly glaringly obvious during the scenes in Minas Rivendell. I mean, the White Queen's castle. That's also where Alice considers her pretty pretty sword, which she unearths from a chest in a shot that is an almost complete quote of Aragorn receiving Anduril. Don't get me wrong, I love that she's the reincarnation of Eowyn (complete with her claustrophobia), but really, we've seen that movie already. In fact we've seen THREE of those. Why am I seeing another chick in silver armor slaying a big fucking beast with a pretty sword again? Oh, and don't forget that she's doing it to save the pretty queen, which is pretty fucking awesome femmeslash, don't get me wrong, but STILL. Ugh, why am I so disturbed by this?
13. Tweedledee and Tweedledum were fabulously played. Just thought I should mention. I should also mention that so many noted actors' cameos go completely unnoticed in this movie, like Christopher Lee, Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall and Imelda Staunton (funnily enough, there's a whole "Um-Umbridge" section in the movie. I think Umbridge would've been a FABULOUS Red Queen).
14. All in all, it's an okay movie? IDK. Maybe I would've liked it better in 3D, but really, it shouldn't be like that. In the grand history of the Burton-Depp cinematic collaboration, this would go down as one of the weaker entries (like "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" or "The Corpse Bride"). It's not a bad movie by any means, its just not a GOOD movie. It mainly generated within me the same feelings I had for "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus", which were mainly along the lines of "PRETTY! Now what"?
memphis86 (who wore the hat!), regala_electra (who adopted my sister), ignited (who wore the most delightful t-shirt) and cathybites (who was bubbly as always) and my sister. Seeing as I drank a big big bottle of cider not half an hour before that, my view was a bit...skewed. Then waffle fries happened.It shall happen in numbers, because I can't be bothered to structure an essay. I'm lazy, if you haven't noticed. It should also be marked that I've seen this movie in 2D. :D
1. Right off, I was thrown off the story COMPLETELY when I saw Celeborn as Alice's daddy. CELEBORN HAS A BRITISH ACCENT, PEOPLE. Omg he is so cute. Tell him, where's the rabbit, for he'd much desire to speak with him. :D Second unexpected cameo was Lindsay Duncan (Servilia of the Junii, you guys, AWESOME) as Alice's, I want to say stepmother? She wasn't an evil stepmother, but I didn't get the mommy vibes from her, so yeah. She was so very lovable. The whole first 10 minutes have an acutely WHITE look to them, probably to distinguish from the murky color palette of "Underland".
2. Girl Power Watch: Oh yes, this movie is FILLED with girl power. Seeing as it was written by Linda Woolverton of "Mulan" and "Beauty and the Beast" fame, it shouldn't be surprising. It IS, however, surprising when the book you're dealing with has a plot that's mainly made of "omg I'm just a tiny girl and everyone's so MEAN to me!" In any case, Girl Power Watch here recognizes Alice' disdain for a) corsets, and b) stockings. To the observing eye, this means she is absolutely BONKERS in that era. To the unobserving eye (courtsey of yours truly), this means "holy crap, no corset? lucky bitch".
3. OH, THE FORESHADOWING. Yes yes we get it, Tim Burton. Everyone is so STRANGE and ALIEN in those white mansions. Lady Ascot wouldn't hear of painting white roses and her daughters are a strange couple that completes each other's sentences, and everyone expects Alice to adhere to social customs by agrees to marry a man with NO JAWLINE who has digestive problems, simply because he's rich like woah, and Alice can't commit to it. GEE, I WONDER WHEN THAT'S GOING TO RETURN.
4. Surprisingly, the whole rabbit hole sequence is very much like the Disney version. In fact, most of the first 10 minutes of the "Underland" (which btw, Tim Burton, makes me think of 'Tithe' more than anything else) are very much the Disney version of "Alice" as viewed through Burton's glasses and insomnia. WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S THE WRONG ALICE? Everyone gasps. No, she's HARDLY the real Alice, corrects Alan "WHOOOOOO are YOUUUUUU" Rickman. Really, this is enough, Tim Burton. I shouldn't be having the hot flashes for a damn snail.
5. Strangely enough (or maybe not so strangely, as Alice in here is 19), the movie is filled with bizarre little pairings; The Red Queen and Stayne, Alice and Stayne ("I like LARGENESS" lol), Alice and the Mad Hatter (I blame Johnny Depp playing him as a romantic lead for no discernible reason), Alice and the White Queen (which was intended, I think). I mean, REALLY. SO MANY HORMONES WTF.
6. So let's talk about how much I love Helena Bonham-Carter. I mean, REALLY. She's playing some of the most iconic villainesses on cinema lately, and she adds such a flair to them! I love her Bellatrix and I love her Red Queen, which seems more than everything like a parody on Elizabeth I (complete with a skewed portrait of Henry VIII in the Red Palace). She plays her with a lot of camp, especially her astonished "he tried to kill me? he tried to kill? me?" which won me over. I also think her whole look is astonishingly creative.
7. And now we get to the Mad Johnny. Sorry, I mean Elijah Hatter. ACK. Okay, so what's with the weird Scottish accent? Why the Scottish Jabberwocky poem recited as a war poem? Why Scottish AT ALL? I mean. WELL. It's utterly needless, but whatever. I got the feeling throughout the movie that only Johnny Depp could've been comfortable in that get up, really. Any other actor would've been weirded out by the whole thing. However, Depp's Hatter is a bit of a bizarre clash between the Disney Mad Hatter, and I dunno, Aragorn. A wounded, scarred warrior trapped in a clown's closet, and this is not Shakespeare. What gives.
8. To which point, I must mention Anne Hathaway, who completely misses the mark this time, sadly. It comes down to even her lipstick, which is a shade too wrong, really. If you're going for the whole whitewhiteWHITE look with a likable flair, don't do eggplant shade, ktx. I also got the feeling that her entire performance was totally directed by Burton, who isn't normally that kind of a director (which is why normally inexperienced or even relatively-inexperienced actors get completely swallowed by his movies). "Be more pretty pretty princess! More courtesies! More fake-but-real adorablness!" Hathaway takes his direction and completely overdoes it, in a bad way. She seemed mostly overwrought and borderline annoying, rather than campy-hilarious and a spunky parody on the beginning of the movie's gentry.
9. As for Stayne, I was sure for a couple of minutes there that it was Depp again. The lack of eyebrows, paleness and dark eyes and hair all seemed quite Depp-ish to me, circa "Edward Scissorhands". He seems in the beginning as the Aragorn of this movie, and then unfolds into something that seems like the stilts walker version of Wormtail (who funnily enough is ALSO in this movie). There is something dashing about him, but he's mostly sort of obscure and power-hungry and I'm sort of not getting him, I guess.
10. The Cheshire Cat! Or as said by half the characters in this movie "Chesh" (and gave me really annoying deja-Supernaturals with Castiel-Cas). OKAY, NO. THAT CREATURE HAS A FULL NAME, A RICH HISTORY AND STEPHEN FRY'S VOICE. YOU WILL TREAT HIM WITH RESPECT, BURTON. Disregarding that, he was completely delightful, and I loved him.
11. Okay. That dancing bit in the end? I HATED. I mean, the idea was fabulous, but if your Mad Hatter is a deranged Scottish Aragorn, why is he turning his own limbs around to weird gothic disco? Go full Brigadoon, man! Goddamn, was that disappointing and awkward.
12. So okay, the more I think about this movie, the more it reeks to me of "Lord of the Rings" gone Burton. It's particularly glaringly obvious during the scenes in Minas Rivendell. I mean, the White Queen's castle. That's also where Alice considers her pretty pretty sword, which she unearths from a chest in a shot that is an almost complete quote of Aragorn receiving Anduril. Don't get me wrong, I love that she's the reincarnation of Eowyn (complete with her claustrophobia), but really, we've seen that movie already. In fact we've seen THREE of those. Why am I seeing another chick in silver armor slaying a big fucking beast with a pretty sword again? Oh, and don't forget that she's doing it to save the pretty queen, which is pretty fucking awesome femmeslash, don't get me wrong, but STILL. Ugh, why am I so disturbed by this?
13. Tweedledee and Tweedledum were fabulously played. Just thought I should mention. I should also mention that so many noted actors' cameos go completely unnoticed in this movie, like Christopher Lee, Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall and Imelda Staunton (funnily enough, there's a whole "Um-Umbridge" section in the movie. I think Umbridge would've been a FABULOUS Red Queen).
14. All in all, it's an okay movie? IDK. Maybe I would've liked it better in 3D, but really, it shouldn't be like that. In the grand history of the Burton-Depp cinematic collaboration, this would go down as one of the weaker entries (like "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" or "The Corpse Bride"). It's not a bad movie by any means, its just not a GOOD movie. It mainly generated within me the same feelings I had for "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus", which were mainly along the lines of "PRETTY! Now what"?
